Fanboy Wrestletronic Preview: WWE Backlash 2020



Another week, another wrestling super show preview with no actual review of the last show. Yes, I am fully aware that I have not written a preview of NXT Takeover: In Your House. Guys, we’re in the middle of a #quixotine (trademark pending) so the plan is that we’re going to preview WWE’s non-Takeover inferior show and next week we’ll be back with you with a SUPER review of NXT Takeover (and also WWE Backlash).


Here are the current Quixotronic Bullpen Prediction Stats (including to-be-reviewed-later NXT Takeover In Your House results):

Kyle: 27-16 (or 63%)

Tim: 7-7 (or 50%)

Ryan: 0-2 (or 0%)


Cub reporter Ryan has joined the battle and is off to a stellar start.

Who will survive!?


If you want to watch live on Sunday, you’ll want to subscribe to the WWE Network. Until then, here’s your Quixotronic preview of the show.


WWE United States Title Match: Andrade vs Apollo Crews ©


The Background: Andrade and Apollo Crews have been feuding since before Money in the Bank when Andrade injured Crews and took him out of the Money in the Bank ladder match. Crews, now healthy, was able to defeat Andrade in the May 25th Raw and win the WWE United States title. Since then Crews and Kevin Owens have defeated Andrade and Angel Garza in tag team action while Andrade won his title shot by pinning Angel Garza in a triple threat match also with Owens on the June 8th Raw.


Fanboy Fantasy: These four have been circling each other for a while and it’s time to split them up. Garza would come out first to cause trouble at the order of Zelina Vega. This of course brings out Owens to help even the score. The ref makes the call to make the match a fatal four way match and it stays mostly Crews/Owens vs Andrade/Garza. Owens and Crews do the normal good guy thing and try to have an honest match while Andrade and Garza are on the outside but Andrade and Garza also start getting frustrated with each other. It ends when Andrade pins Garza again to win the title while Owens and Crews are on the outside. Now we have Andrade as champ again and Garza clearly on the outs with Andrade and Zelina. Andrade attacks Garza post-match to solidify the breakup. Meanwhile, Crews is mad that he lost his first title without being pinned and is rightfully pissed. He then starts to show more and more heel tendencies and eventually falls under the wings of MVP. Owens then gets dragged along to feud with Crews and Lashley.


Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:

Kyle: Andrade - I’m glad Crews won the title but I think it will be a short reign. I think we’ll get shenanigans from both Garza and Owens and in the distraction Andrade will get the title back.

Tim: Apollo Crews - his name sounds like Apollo Creed and Carl Weathers is awesome.

WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles Match: Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross vs The Iconics (Billie Kay & Peyton Royce) vs Bayley & Sasha Banks ©


The Background: First the Iconics returned and defeated Bliss & Cross in a non-title match on the May 11th Raw. Their title shot the next week did not go as well. Over on Smackdown, Banks defeated Bliss in singles action on the May 29th Smackdown while Billie Kay defeated Cross over on the June 1st Raw. Since the champs had both lost in singles competition, this allowed Bayley & Banks to swoop in and win the titles on the June 5th Smackdown. With Kay’s win over Cross earlier, all the teams have grounds for the match. And I don’t have a joke, but here’s a picture of Alexa Bliss:

Fanboy Fantasy: I would have Bayley pin Bliss in the end. This gives us multiple takeaways: the Iconics stay strong until we’re ready to give the titles back to a “real” tag team when Bayley and Sasha implode, Alexa gets beat which gives Nikki a reason to maybe finally turn on Bliss after the original setup of their team being that Bliss was just screwing with Cross, and it gives Bayley bragging rights for carrying the team. Despite the loss, I’d set up Bliss to gain #1 contendership to the title over Cross and go on to beat Bayley for the title and revenge for taking the pin here. We shift the solo title feud to Bliss and Cross and then Bayley and Sasha start bickering for a while until they eventually drop the tag titles to the Iconics, but not until the Royal Rumble because they now hate each other but refuse to lose the titles until this point. Then they can have the blood feud they deserve and no titles need to be involved. Let’s finally get that solo women’s non-title match at WrestleMania that we’ve never had!


Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:

Kyle: Bayley & Sasha Banks - I see the Boss & Hug Connection holding the titles captive until they finally split and decide to murder each other.

Tim: The Iconics - I’m rooting for Sasha and Bayley but I picked the belt-wearers to retain in all the other belt-wearing matches.

Jeff Hardy vs Sheamus


The Background: Oh boy. So Sami Zayn was stripped of the Intercontinental title because he is staying safe at home. In the first round of the title tournament that followed, Jeff Hardy defeated Sheamus on the May 22nd Smackdown. Then on the May 29th Smackdown all hell broke loose - Elias was hit by a “drunk driver” and guess who matched the description. This put the semi-finals matches (AJ Styles vs Elias, Daniel Bryan vs Jeff Hardy) in jeopardy, so, a battle royal was set up to determine who would face Daniel Bryan instead (AJ Styles did the wise thing and took a bye into the finals). Sheamus won the battle royal, but then lost his match against Bryan, and then Hardy returned to attack Sheamus. So Sheamus was the driver? But the description matched Hardy? Did he also drive the hummer and hit Kevin Nash? WCW, anyone? Finally, on the go-home June 12th Smackdown, Sheamus decided he was concerned about Hardy being clean and made him present a urine test. Guess how well that worked out?

Fanboy Fantasy: I would actually have Sheamus murder Hardy. Murder him to the point where he wins due to match stoppage, not a pin. Others need to come down and get between the two, including Braun Strowman. Those two get into a bit of a scuffle to set up a future hoss fight down the line. However, first Sheamus wants the one thing he never won: the Intercontinental title which would have been just won by Daniel Bryan (AJ Styles was actually the victor). Then down the line Sheamus will not win the IC belt but actually wins the Universal title - all only to use as a bargaining chip for another IC title shot because he becomes obsessed. Narrator: he does not win it.


Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:

Kyle: Jeff Hardy - what are we doing here? Logically there’s no reason for Sheamus to win and every reason for Jeff to beat Sheamus and his “inner demons” for the win. Prove me wrong?

Tim: Sheamus - I’m pretty sure that Jeff Hardy is dead or in jail or possibly both. I don’t see how one can win a wrestling match under those circumstances.

WWE Raw Women’s Title Match: Nia Jax vs Asuka ©


The Background: After literally dancing her way into our hearts and to her Money in the Bank briefcase, Becky Lynch opened the May 11th Raw with the news that The Man was in fact The Ma™ and was forfeiting the title. As the Money in the Bank winner, it turned out that Asuka’s briefcase actually had the title itself in it (don’t think about the obvious weight difference this would involve). On the May 25th Raw Nia Jax defeated Charlotte Flair and Natalya to win a title shot against Asuka. On the June 1st Raw Jax tried to be the Face-breaker again and injured Asuka’s soulmate Kairi Sane (soulmatey? Because she’s a pirate?) and also caused Charlotte Flair to defeat Asuka by count out later in the night. Jax went on to cause another loss for Asuka to Flair on the June 8th Raw because fuck it, Flair.

Fanboy Fantasy: Asuka beats Nia Jax no problem whatsoever and then only after she has already lost, Kairi Sane returns for revenge on Jax and to celebrate with Asuka. We continue Jax/Sane as another non-title women’s feud (they can happen!) while Asuka moves onto the clearly set up Charlotte Flair.


Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:

Kyle: Asuka - nobody is ready for Asuka.

Tim: Asuka - always Asuka. Every time forever. In these dark times here is an Asuka gif:

WWE Universal Title Handicap Match: John Morrison & Miz vs Braun Strowman ©


The Background: I love The Miz. I love John Morrison. But get this: after losing the tag team titles, The Miz and John Morrison have been losing a bit. They lost their rematch at Money in the Bank, they lost against makeshift team Braun Strowman and Otis Dozovic on the May 15th Smackdown, and then Strowman defeated The Miz in singles competition on the May 22nd Smackdown. All this has allowed both Miz and Morrison to fail upwards to a Universal title handicap match against Strowman.

Fanboy Fantasy: Bray Wyatt shows up on the Titantron just as the match begins and says how he’s not done with Braun. And also he’s done some Firefly magic and now Strowman is half the man he usually is. Literally he says “Firefly magic.” Now the match plays out where Strowman is visibly weaker and Miz and Morrison get actual offense. This is like explaining why Superman doesn’t murder everyone in the Injustice games. Strowman powers through and pins Morrison, setting up Miz to walk out on Morrison for their feud to start. Meanwhile, we pencil in Strowman vs the Fiend for SummerSlam.


Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:

Kyle: Braun Strowman - because of course.

Tim: Braun Strowman - I think I said I’d never pick against Morrison but I also do what I feel like because I’m an adult. (Technically.) Someone pass me a pop tart.

WWE World Title Match: Bobby Lashley vs Drew McIntyre ©


The Background: After a solid victory of Seth Rollins at Money in the Bank, Drew McIntyre needed a fresh challenger, and MVP soon presented Bobby Lashley. The two watched as McIntyre defeated Baron Corbin on the May 18th Raw. McIntyre was a guest on MVP’s VIP Lounge on the May 25th Raw only to hit a Claymore on the host. Then, before he could face Bobby Lashley’s Dr. Wiley, McIntyre faced MVP again as a repeat Robot Master on the June 1st Raw.

Fanboy Fantasy: These two have a brutal match and Lashley gets a bunch of neat falls. I’m the end McIntyre hits a Claymore and just as he goes for the pin MVP attacks Lashley before the three count. This gives Lashley the DQ victory and grounds for a rematch. This of course was MVP’s plan and the two beat down McIntyre post-match.


Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:

Kyle: Drew McIntyre - I don’t think McIntyre will lose the title before live shows begin again (I can't say the same for Strowman). If that means he retains through next WrestleMania, then so be it.

Tim: Drew McIntyre - Superstars with two capital letters in their last names defending titles at pay per views without an audience are undefeated. It’s a lock.

"The Greatest Wrestling Match Ever”™: Edge vs Randy Orton


The Background: Edge defeated Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing match back at WrestleMania 36. However, Orton wasn’t done so he went backwards in booking a feud and challenged Edge to a straight up “wrestling” match on the May 11th Raw which Edge accepted. Since then it has been branded as “The Greatest Wrestling Match Ever”™ because WWE has now heard the word “wrestling” and is very, very, very excited about it. In this one case. Finally Christian (Christian! Christian!) brought back the Peep Show on the June 8th Raw to pump up his old friend - Edge was feeling the pressure of having “The Greatest Wrestling Match Ever”™ but Christian made him see that maybe he can have “The Greatest Wrestling Match Ever”™.

Fanboy Fantasy: Can we have a cinematic match for a “regular” match? Let’s do that. I actually don’t have an idea for booking this beyond having Orton win. And he wins fairly, because this is “The Greatest Wrestling Match Ever.”™


Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:

Kyle: Randy Orton - Edge won the first match, Orton wins the rematch, Edge wins the eventual rubber match. This is booking 101.

Tim: Edge - because Randy Orton still suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckssssssss.

That’s it for our WWE Backlash preview. Thanks for joining us again and be sure to subscribe on Facebook and follow https://www.quixotronic.com/ for more questionable content.


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